Real Life Fairytale

Colossians 1:16+17 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

All of my life I have dreamed that somehow love would find me.
Now I can't believe you're standing here. If beauty is all in the eye of the beholder then I wish you could see what I see, the love for you that lives in me.

And you would know, you have my heart, if you could see what I see; that a treasure's what you are, if you could see what I see; created to be the only one for me; if you could see what I see

I know there are days when you feel so much less than ideal wondering what I see in you. It's all of the light and the grace your belief in me drives me to say that I promise you a faithful love forever true

And you would know, you have my heart, if you could see what I see; that a treasure's what you are, if you could see what I see; created to be the only one for me; if you could see then you'd understand why I fall down to my knees; and I pray my love will be worthy of the One who gave His life so our love could be.

If you could see what I see. If you could see what I see:
You're created to be the perfect one for me,
if you could see what I see

Geoff Moore and the distance

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Both of Us'll Feel The Blast

Both of Us'll Feel The Blast lyrics

We're both dirty, baby- that's just the way it goes
We'll try to cut the fuses off before everything blows
And if it blows and both of us are standing real close by
Then both of us'll feel the blast and both of us'll die
But dying's overrated, it's a ticket on a train
And as long as i can hold your hand, i'll know that i'm still sane
Maybe i'm an idiot for thinking that that's true
But i believe that Jesus knew what He was doing when He gave me you

Lately I've been wondering- what are we gonna do
when we wake up in the morning and its just me and you?
Cause we ain't never done this thing but I guess that's how it goes
You breathe deep as it comes to you and hold tight when it blows
And if it blows and both of us are standing real close by
Then both of us'll feel the blast and both of us'll die
And dying's underrated, it's a ticket to the feast-
The one we're all invited to, from the greatest to the least

I hope we sit together when Jesus serves the wine
So I can look into your eyes when I taste it the first time
And I know there's no secrets when you're sitting at that table
But I believe we'll smile real knowingly when we read the label
And it says "passion sacrificed to keep from going crazy."
We'll tip our glasses to the Host who used to look so hazy
And drink it down all sweet and slow and slip inside His mind
And realize as it goes down- this is communion wine

This is communion wine
This is communion wine
This is communion wine


Waterdeep lyrics Album - Sink or Swim Date: 12/14/1999

We added this song from Waterdeep's live MP3 to our site. They say file sharing of live music is cool with them as long as no one makes a profit. You can read about it here and enjoy more music by them.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Love is made complete among us

My mom just called. The cat is sick. We all hate the cat, the cat drives us crazy. So why am I crying? Because as crazy as she drives us, I love her. She has diabetes. She now becomes even more high maintanance and she might have to be put to sleep. Blast, and just like that I am crying and my mom just keeps talking about this that and the other thing, she finally stops and realizes I am crying and she is like "why are you crying?" and I am like, the cat, and she acts all surprised.

See all practicality says I should hate the cat. When she was a kitten and a young cat she used to chase me around and bite me. She hated to be held. She only would show affection to be fed. She would run off. She at times turned the house into her litter box. She is ornery. She is loosing weight and her hair and throwing up. She is, unloveable. Something though compels me to love her. To cry at the thought of losing her, the thought of her suffering.

It is raining outside and I think of a day not so long ago, running into the grocery store through the rain with the Man I love. If you ask me what it is that makes me love him, I could tell you, but in the same way, last night he said of his love toward me, "it is like trying to describe the sunset, music." It is true. After pondering awhile I decided to fall back on this metaphor, partly mine, partly stolen.

The way I knew he was the one was the same way you know you are home. You just know. Your home might be broken in places, the roof might leak. Your toilet handle might need a jiggle and you may never find the remote to the TV but there is no where more perfect. When you are away from it it is all you think about going back to. It is where you want to rest your head at the end of a long day. It is the culmination of all your hoping and all your dreams.

That is how it is with Phil. When I talk to him it is like I know that is where I belong. It is, above all things, impractical to love. It would be simpler, after all, to go on caring for just myself, to not spend effort and time building something new. I struggle as I see myself as the broken home and think I shall not ever be a place that anyone else would want to make their abode. I think that but then I realize, as I am at home with him, he is at home with me. That is how it will be, very likely, forever.

Sometimes we choose to love, but it is usually selfish. Sometimes love chooses us. Real love isn't rooted in perfection, real love is like coming home. Sometimes I feel like the cat, broken and unlovable. I realize though in our own ways we are all capable of being loved, even when it makes no sense. Why did God love me enough to send his son? Why did he love me enough to bless me with such a great man of God? Why will he someday welcome me, me of all people, into his arms and into the home he has prepared for me?

Love.


I will search all my life and never really fully understand it.


Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


1 john 4:15
If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Silly Jesus. Loving passionately is for God

I didn't write this, but I like it. It comes to you courtesy of my friend and brother in Christ Colin who used to run paintball and on rainy day occasion a very popular Philosopy class at the summer camp I worked at last summer. He would talk passionately to the mostly Jewish teenagers about many things.
Orange
is for the stuff that stuck out to me in what he says about love. Feel free to check him out at My Space. I certainly have always felt cooler for knowing him.


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"I am convinced that God calls us to live passionately in all areas of our life. One of the most difficult of those areas I think is our relationships. After our hearts get broken time and time again, we instinctively want to withdraw, to be more cautious. We naturally want to protect ourselves from being hurt. We want to be safe. But Christ never calls us to a safe life, he calls us to a passionate and dangerous life of loving others.

Jesus loved his disciples and the people he came in contact with a deep intensity and passion. Now, if He was smart, he would have been a little less loving and a little more prudent. I mean, Peter is such a coward- he's never there when the going gets tough. Thomas never believes a thing You say. And Judas, well, there's just something about him that says he's going to stab You in the back. Yet, Jesus loved them all. What was He thinking?! Why did He willingly expose himself to desertion, distrust, and betrayal from his so-called friends, and then keep loving those who came back to Him? Doesn't He realize they're just likely to burn Him again?

Silly Jesus. Loving passionately is for God.

Again, like so many other things, we run into the "foolishness of the Cross." To make our relationships passionate is foolish to the world which values protecting ourselves over others. But in the eyes of God, loving passionately it is part of living life to the fullest. We love with passion. We grieve with passion. And in the end, we heal with just as much passion. We recover a zeal for being filled by God when we do not live safely. God will not just put band-aids on your broken hearts. He is the Great Physician. He will perform triple bypass surgery on them.

Passion is altogether a beautiful and dangerous thing, especially in relationships, but it provides the means of making a love between two people like none other. It should be there from beginning and the end. From the first conversation even to the break-up. We will always hurt, but not always heal. Passion through God is our only hope for real healing beyond the band-aids. I want something more than a broken heart falling apart at the stitches. I want a new and whole heart. And I really believe that can be our hope."

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Timing

Today, this guy came to speak to my Communication Seminar class. He talked about alot of things, involving his work in radio around the globe. Then, he got my attention (which had been wander to the people playing games on thier computers and the hilarious note taking of one Drew Allen) when he brought up his second wife.

Apparently, through a series of strange events, he met his future wife while he was in Guam. She was in Florida. Apparently he didn't feel like he could leave at the time, and he wasn't sure what to do. They continued writing letters, but his got shorter and shorter and he wonder if God really wanted them together. Then, in God's perfect time, He worked it out. She went to Guam and they married.

I just found it encouraging. It's so easy to stress over the distance, but really, God has everything figured out. He knows what is and isn't in his plan, and he knows how to work all thing out, not just for good, but for the best. His perfect plan is just that. God is so awesome.

Heartbeat


Last night I found myself wishing he was here. I know it is silly but what I wanted more than anything was something I never knew I would like. You see when Phil was here and we would sit on the couch I would lean my head back on his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. It was strong and loud. I miss that. There is something tangible about his being here and close. Something I long for.
I trust that it is ok that he is in Florida and that I am here. I know that God has allowed us to be apart for this time. It is all part of his perfect plan. I also think that he understands my desire to be closer. I know that this isn't forever. Somedays are better then others.
We decided to start this journal as a way to stay connected and to document our journey. Friday marks three months for us. It will truly be "Good Friday." that's all from the NY office.
-Katherine